I have been worrying about this all night and it's now 5am in the UK.

I can't physically get to my t anymore, so today I have to say goodbye. I will miss her so much but I've thought long and hard and there are no other options as the worry of getting to her and seeing her and not being able to go outside my home with all my issues is not good for my mental health whilst heavily pregnant.

9 years is a hell of a long time. T doesn't know this is the last session, although I suspect she is aware on some level. She is now retired and seeing about 2 clients at the moment. I'm sure it's her turn to rest from me to.

I feel like I am losing a friend that no one else knows about.

I feel like I will need to grieve in some way. I just needed to record this somewhere.