You are rightfully angry at your father, and rightfully angry, hurt, disappointed towards your mother too. You were raised in an emotionally and physically unstable environment. You probably wondered why your mother didn't leave for the kids sake. We often hear about staying in a poor relationship for the kids (my parents did). You seem to be at the point where your upbringing is starting to have an impact on your adult life.

The coping skills of childhood do not work in our adult lives. This can lead to anxiety and depression.

You can forgive your father without ever talking to him again. You can forgive your mother without letting her know that you ever did so. Now is about you as you free yourself of those childhood burdens.