It would be very hard to talk about the accidents to someone, but talking about it helps you heal. Getting it out and learning how to deal and cope with it is very important. If you are that afraid of the sounds of the planes, the noise and it's causing you anxiety ect then that needs to be acknowledged, dealing with that and one day you will not get upset when you see those jets fly over head, instead you'll one day be able to look up and actually enjoy them .... it take time... I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this, take care of yourself...