Quote:
Originally Posted by kaliope
i am going to challenge your im worthless=people need me statement. ask you to reevaluate that one. it isnt the best thing to gain your worth by what you do for others. and then that throws into the works i idea that you are always there for others and nobody has time for you and make you feel like crap.
worth needs to come from within you. what are you worth to yourself, not what you gain by giving to others. I came up with one indisputable fact. one good thing about me that I could not deny no matter how bad I felt about myself. for me it was that I was a good writer. I have always gotten A's on my papers for as long as I can remember and write professional evaluations today that receive praise. there is no denying that I am a good writer. so when I started running off that list of bad things in my head, I could say, yeah, but I am a good writer to compliment myself and feel good instead of bad. soon I found more good things about me and added them to the list. it took awhile but eventually I started believing that I was a good person with these good qualities. this is how I built my worth.
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Serious question and am not just trying to challenge you: you received praise from others about your writing. So wouldn't that be considered that your self-worth is still based off the opinions of others?
I know there are things I'm good at, but great at? I'm going to list them for the sake of showing my awareness:
*Math, writing, architecture design, listening, caring, organizing, encouraging, most things based in logic, some crafts...
Well, that's better than nothing
But most of that is based on other's opinions. I only consider my crafts, architecture, and writing good if others think so. I only know I'm good at caring, listening, and encouraging based upon the results of interacting with people. I know I'm good at math, but I never really made it to calculus. And I know I'm good at logic when I underand information that I have no real extensive knowledge in.
And if I can't pit these traits to use to help others, then what good are they? What good am I w/o being able to contribute somehow to a relationship. This is why I base my worth on how others perceive me.
I do understand that the goal is to find value within myself. But how? How do you truly and honestly find that value w/o the input of others? How do you believe it? Saying it is one thing, believing it is another. I'm not trying to frustrate you or anyone. I just don't understand how to get from point A to B. Is it really as simple as holding onto one belief even if the belief is reinforced by others? Is good, good enough?