Its as though you were speaking directly about my life a year ago, straight from my heart. I too completely forgot who it was that i used to be. I became whatever i thought he wanted at the moment to avoid his abuse just to have peace. He undid 2 1/2 years of therapy on my self worth. I got extremely lucky. God was certainly looking out for me. He was arrested for selling drugs and God sent someone into my life to help me unravel all the lies and figure out who i am again. Many never get out. Im so proud of you for getting out of that abuse!! You will become that happy guy again soon im sure with just a little work. Pray. He truly listens. Hugs and all the best of luck to you.