Thanks Petunia, Tranquility, Esther & Kinder,
I have noticed that the day after therapy I just crash under the weight of sorrow. Last night I slept for almost 11 hours (unheard of for me). Today I feel better and ready to tackle my heartache once again. Thank you all for your feedback and support.

Petunia said:
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It's like having a severely infected wound.

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That is exactly what my T said when I first started seeing him. Thanks for the reminder.

Tranquility said:
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But then I also realized that the only way that was going to change was if I did something.

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Tranquility, maybe it was at that moment that you were able to take back your power. And if you had not done all of the hard work (and hospitalizations) you may not have arrived at that point. You don't need to apologize for saying what you said. I don't believe we can just choose a moment to say, "okay I am healed." I think that a lot of work through life experience leads up to the moment where we know we are healing. And, yes I believe it's a lifelong process. Thank you so much for your feedback.

Esther said:

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You have almost climbed your mountain.

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Oh Esther, what a mental image I conjured up when I first read this last night. Me, climbing up a gravely mountain with fingers grasping and sliding back down, only to catch myself at the last minute! I use the montain image when i meditate. Yes, it's so helpful. Today, the image is kinder and I'm on a mountain path with grass and flowers!
Thanks.

Kindergirl said:
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Hopefully, will all be the best in the end

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Kinder, we have to believe that, eh? I am rewned of spirit today, thanks to all of you....

Peace, Love