I am sorry you are struggling, but I can give you my view from a wife's perspective. My husband is a complainer...every day he would come home from work and talk about all the bad things that happened to him that day. Every day. It got very, very old for me to always try and "listen", to support him, day after day after day. He didn't realize he was being negative and even after talking to him about it, he continued to do it. The general comment you made reminds me of something he would say, and there is nothing anyone can say in response that would be helpful. Perhaps being more specific, such as telling your wife what happened and how you felt about it might get a different response. If my husband did this, I think it would go a long way in garnering support from me.