Today, I woke up in the morning. My parents were fighting like they do everyday. I went downstairs and they started yelling at me. They then said to me "YOU ARE THE REASON WE ALWAYS FIGHT!". I felt so hurt. (yes they actually meant it. my dad lectured me in the car so it wasn't a spur of the moment).

My parents have always fought everyday since I was kid. I used to cry when they fought. I used to crawl underneath the dining table and cry there when I was 5. I always blamed myself for their fighting. Today, it all makes sense. I was right. I AM THE REASON THEY ARE UNHAPPY.

I hate myself. I want to disappear. I don't want to exist anymore. I'm such a burden to my family and the world. I was most probably a mistake. Why am I even here. I dont deserve anything. I just want to cry (well I am).

I've already been having a tough time these past few months and this just brought me down to my knees. I can't get up. I sound like an idiot. I'm a pathtic worthless loser. Why can't I just die? Don't wanna deal anymore. I'm not worth anything.

I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm wasting each and every day. My marks dropped big time. I can't focus. Just nothing. I feel empty. I just don't want to do anything anymore. I want to lay in bed and never get out. I don't want to hear or see people. I just want to keep myself away from everybody. I'm an outsider. I don't belong anywhere.

I'm so sick of myself.