(((((Carrie))))) I think I understand where you're coming from, even if I don't know all the details. I tell you my experience, so that you know I understand, and not to take anything away from your pain. I have definitely felt like if I express my real feelings, it would be considered "melodramatic." I have even thought that about myself- that I'm just blowing things out of proportion, you know? I also blame myself when I si, telling myself that it was stupid, over-reacting, and my favorite word for me "melodramatic." I beat myself up like that. I cover up and down-play my own feelings so much, because the bottom line is just that I want to be loved and sometimes I feel like I have to be almost nonexistent and nonemotional in order to get that love. I've always felt like any reaction that I had was just drama and not valid. But I learned in therapy that there is a reason I react the way I do, and that more often than not I actually under-react, because it's what I've been trained all my life to do- not upset the balance (and the denial), you know? Anyway, that is my similar experience.

I don't know what was said or done that hurt you, but I don't need to know that either, in order to know that you're hurting. I can tell from your post that you are in a LOT of pain, and I'm sorry about that. If you want to vent, you can do it here. And if you feel unsafe to do so, you can feel free to pm me, too. I'm here for you.

Big, safe, sincere hugs for you (((((Carrie))))

Angela