Seesaw, your post made me cry. I am still grieving the loss of my beloved mini-schnauzer. I lost him to illness almost 2 years ago. I feel silly because it has been so long but I will never be able to replace him. I understand your pain. I am in pain with you. You would be surprised to know how many dog lovers are on this site. My dog was my child and I understand your pain. I had to put down my best friend and it just crushed me. I am so sorry, seesaw. You are not silly at all. I am still crying so I know. I wish you solace and peace. I am so sorry. ((hugs))