Sweetie, I'm sorry he won't speak to you because it is wrong for him not to explain why! I think it's very brave and big of you to want to apologize. It is scary, but it is strength to even think about much less if you do it. . It shows you think about other people and how your actions might hurt them.

If he was a good therapist he would explain that what happened could've been a violation of other patient's rights, accident or not, and that alone would be grounds for him to terminate your sessions. But to leave a BPD patient hanging like that much less *any* patient is damaging. He should talk to YOU even if you're a minor or young patient who's parent pay for the sessions. He should explain it to you and you have the RIGHT to demand that he does. He is leaving you in doubt as to what is wrong...get your answer then move on to a NEW therapist who will help you build trust so you don't need to record your sessions, IMO. Facing this situation is the only way you won't have lingering doubts or left over regrets in the future. I wish I had had someone to help me in the past with similar things, so now I wouldn't be thinking about how doctors had treated me wrong and I did nothing.