Lemon, thanks. I can tell you understand a lot of what I am going through from your own experience.

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it really seems like you are actually in a good place. Very self aware that you needed more time to process the couples session

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Thanks. (((hugs))) I think I am getting better and better at trusting myself to know what the right thing to do is. I listen better to those voices deep inside of me, the little doubts that I can try to squash (hey, what's going on here, why am I really feeling that way? don't brush it aside). The decision to not to do couples this week was totally the right thing. I'm so glad I listened to myself.

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I'm always disapointed in a way that so much work has to go on outside of the session. Wouldn't it be easier if I could just sit with T all day and have her help me through everything. But, you're right that's not how it works and we have to process and discover on our own so that "most of therapy happens outside of therapy,"

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Lemon, yes, I have felt this too. In my earlier days of ultra-infatuation/attachment to my T, I felt like I couldn't see him enough, wanted to see him more than once a week, obsessed about whether I could ask him for additional sessions, etc. (It's not like I'm not attached to my T anymore, but it is more of a secure, comfortable attachment now.) Anyway, I have come to see why, for me, a week between sessions can be a very good thing. It takes time to process what goes on in therapy, and I can go through a whole range of feelings, thoughts, and conclusions before coming to what seems to be a "mature" place in regard to the last session. It's like a wine must age before it is ready to be drunk. And so my "mindset" after therapy can benefit from aging a week before the next session. And it will influence what actions I take in my relationships with people, which either move me forward or set me back, and this can provide fodder for the next session. And then the cycle begins again.