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I just want to be able to cry without feeling guilty. Be angry without feeling I am bad. Be sad without feeling I am putting someone else out. I just want to be able to feel honestly and express those feelings honestly. That is all.
Carrie <font color="red">

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{{{{{{{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I know that you are hurting, because I can feel it in your words. I also want to thank you for those words, because that is what I want also. I want to be allowed to feel and not be told by inner or outer voices that I am doing it all wrong.

I am so glad that we have this place where there are people who can understand, and where it is safe to give voice to our feelings. It's less safe now for me, because I'm afraid that my husband might be reading everything I write (and he's one of the ones who thinks I feel the wrong way), but even so, you and the others here are saying it for me, and it helps to be a part of this group.

Carrie, I'm sorry that you hurt. If it helps at all, you have all the permission you ever want from me to feel and express your feelings. I guess it doesn't work that way though - we have to give ourselves that permission. Not easy when there is always someone who would deny it, or make you feel bad for it. Somehow we get the idea in this society that just the happy feelings are desirable, and the unhappy or negative feelings are unacceptable. Wallowing may not be good for us, but suffering is appropriate and right some of the time too. You are the only one who can say when and how much is right for you.

Wendy