Everything trips me out. Human beings trip me out. Being a human trips me out. Sometimes I'm scared people are going to hurt me. Or I feel like no one likes me.

Sometimes I'm okay and I'm like "Yeah I will go to school and have a career." Or whatever. I have moments of clarity sometimes. Right now I cannot work because I am in chronic pain and I am in the process of figuring out what it is.

I've gone to a psychiatrist. He has put me on meds. I feel like he is crazy and disgusting. He always wants to talk about explicit sexual things. I was seeing a therapist but she wierds me the **** out and I do not wish to see her anymore. I am SO SICK of talking to "professionals" who are more ****** in the head than I am. Screw those people for imposing their opinions and own messed up mentality on me.

Sometimes I'm really concerned I will end up homeless again or become a junkie or OD on something.. I don't have faith in the mental health system. Or myself. It's all some twisted joke to me. .

I don't know of I'm schizo or smart???? But seriously. I'm so tired of these quacks saying they want to help me when I get the vibe they are just in it for the paycheck and really have no idea what they are doing with MY BRAIN. It disgusts me.

At the same time I want help. But I don't know who to trust. I feel like the mental health profession is so sketchy. It's like a guessing game. .....

I'm just really tired and the way I see the world sometimes is not serving me all that well? But maybe the human condition is just strange for everyone?

Ugh.. Thank you for reading.. Any input would be greatly appreciated.