((((AnxiousGirl))))

First, it takes time to adjust and accept the passing of a loved one. Usually, the more deeply we're attached, the longer it takes. It has been 20 years since my Grandma passed away, and there are times that I still think of her sadly. So, please don't expect yourself to just get over the loss of your loved one rapidly.

Onto your difficulty with expressing these deep emotions, due to fear. What if you wrote down how you're feeling, before going in to your T appt? Then, you could hand it over and ask that she simply reads it and moves forward lightly. Just an idea.

Personally, I struggled with panic disorder for a few years. A big thing that I learned from that experience: I must face my fears. If I don't, those fears become stronger and they seem to hold more & more power over what I do. It was initially hard to force myself to face my fears: VERY hard. But, I did it. And I made it! Each success made me feel a little better. Stronger.

Very gentle hugs to you. My sincere condolences about losing your loved family members.