(((dps)))

Sorry that you are feeling this way. I can relate.

When I do have thoughts and feelings like you are describing, it helps me (a little bit) to acknowledge and admit my feelings to those that I trust deeply: my T as well as my DBT group. That's it. It is only twice per week ~ Tuesday for one & Wednesday for the other ~ but I like to look at it like: Wednesday prepares me for the weekend, and Tuesday is my release from the weekend. I do have that resounding feeling more deeply sometimes. Those are times when I have to force myself to speak up.

Perhaps you could try hard to talk about something that isn't as tough to talk about, to test those around you? If they are helpful and safe, maybe next time, talk about something a little stronger, and so on. Hopefully, you will be able to trust at least 1 or 2 people in your life deeply enough to find a sense of comfort and security.

Gentle hugs to you.