It's noon and I'm still in bed. I feel so horible. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. But I don't have the energy to get out of bed. I finally stopped crying. I feel so sad and lonely. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel better. I had therapy yesterday, so I have to wait a week to see her again. I'm jealous on my T. She seems to have most things that I want in life. Or wanted. I don't know what I want. I just don't want to be me. I don't want to feel what I feel. I'm so tired.
The medicine is't working. What will the psyhiatrist say next week? Will he up my dose? Maybe I'm just imuune to anti-depressive. It that possible? How will I ever feel better?

There isn't any up in today.