Hello,

I am sorry that you're going through this, yagalady. The needs we have as trans* folks and the pressure we feel because we bottled everything up for so long can be immense -- but that doesn't give us the right to disregard the needs of spouses and children. I don't have any sound advice to offer except trying to talk calmly with your spouse, but that seems difficult from what you write.

Do you have access to some kind of counseling -- either couples' counseling or for yourself to help you deal with this situation?