Oh, I don't know, depends on what you consider kinky. Some individuals pursue the very thing that hurt them in an effort to gain a sense of control over whatever it may be. You may have been a challenge in your youth because you may have had a learning disability like ADHD where you could not sit still and pay attention, you should have been helped not punished. It is normal that those with ADHD are about three years behind in their ability to pay attention for very long. It doesn't mean they are stupid either or cannot learn.

It sounds like you have found a nice therapist you like, maybe you can slowly figure out the pieces of your puzzle where you developed the way you have.