I'm not one of those people who say that hardship will go away when the time is right, I say it will probably last, not until you yourself find a way, knowing that only you understand yourself, and everybody doesn't seem to. I understand the confusion you are in, I really do, trust me, but you are responsible for both your happiness and sadness. I know how bad it is that no one understands, and then pretend that they actually do, but I, and probably you, overthink too much until there is no taste in life itself, which means that we are contributors in regards to our depression. We can't let it go, but we can distract ourselves, which is what we don't do, we seem to enjoy pain for some reason, at least I do.

I don't know how to help you. If I did, I would've help myself to begin with, but all I can say is that you have to find a good therapist who won't just feed you meds. To me, a good therapist is a one who would leave his fingerprint after the first session with his wisdom and wit, and if I believe him, I'll carry on. I hope that you will indeed find that therapist, or at least a close friend or any family member that you can open up with and be able share an interactive feeling with him/her.