I feel so bad for you right now but I honestly don't know what to say to make you feel better. I've had a really bad day today so I'm not the best to give advice. Have you tried sitting down and speaking out loud telling yourself that there is no one in your house and you are safe? Sometimes for me just saying what is troubling me out loud makes it seem less of a problem. I sometimes realise how stupid I sound and it makes me realise things aren't so bad. It doesn't always work but most of the time it does. Send you big hugs xxx