For years I've plastered on the 'everything is OK' face and I'm not sure how long I can keep it up for any more.

Today has been a really bad day. I'm a 35 year old mother and yet doing the school run makes me feel like I'm the child back at school. I'm getting a lot of grief of some of the mums who quite openly laugh at me and be rude to me, and whilst I generally don't care what people think of me I'm finding it getting to me more and more. There's no reason for them to do this, but round here they are very quick to look down their noses at me. I feel pathetic.

My daughter has started noticing and tonight she kept asking what was wrong because I didn't look very happy. I don't want her to think I'm sad, but I hate that she's clearly seeing mum isn't herself.

I try and get her to do things with me like reading, or colouring, or watching a film but she never wants to and I'm not going to make her. Sometimes I just want to sit with her on my knee and cuddle her so much but she's so restless she doesn't do it. I know she's not rejecting me, but she's my only source of affection.

I just feel like I can't go on like this any more but have no idea how to change it or make it better.