Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987
I lowered my expectations down to pretty much nothing and now I know I won't get hurt again.
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That's pretty much what I decided to do, it hurt that I had to do it but I felt it's protective not to make myself vulnerable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by licketysplit
Like, if I shared something painful, she would shrug and share something similar about her own life--or something she thought was similar but never was. It was just a way for her to talk about herself under the guise of helping me, while at the same time invalidating me for having strong feelings about something she has been able to put aside for herself. I didn't really see how blatant this was until after she moved away and I could evaluate why I felt so s***ty.
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Isn't that awful though? It can seem to be an attempt at validation but pretty soon you start to feel invalidated because you realize what's really happening here. I think validation requires both knowledge and technique that are simple enough but also a real willingness to allow yourself vulnerability to get closer to the patient's emotional world. That's what makes being a therapist so easy and being a great therapist so difficult.