Eva, I'm so sorry you're feeling so badly right now. I think it takes a lot of energy to keep up the facade, doesn't it? Okay, I know it does, because I've done it myself before.

I don't have children, so I've never done the "mums picking up after school" thing, but I can't tell you how many times I've heard women say this happens to them. It even shows up in novels!

You didn't say if you take medication or see a therapist. Therapy would probably be helpful if it's available to you.

I hope things improve.