I've been on at least one antidepressant for OCD and depression for the past 16 years, ever since I was 14 years old. Last summer, I asked my psychiatrist if I could get pregnant and what medication should or could I become pregnant on? At that time, I was currently on Anafranil, and had been on it for 9 years. My doctor said Prozac is a good medication to be pregnant on for the first 2 trimesters of pregnancy. Then I would wean off sometime during pregnancy. So she weaned me off of 300mg of Anafranil in the fall and it took months to wean off. My last dose was February 1st. She also put me on 20mg of Prozac in the fall as well. She attempted to raise it during those months, but I said I was fine and I wanted to stay on the lowest dose of Prozac for the baby's sake. My last dose of Anafranil was February 1st, and in the month of February, I started having bad insomnia and I cried a lot. There were many nights where I wouldn't be able to get to sleep until past 2am. There were 3 nights in a span of a few weeks where I couldn't fall asleep til 5am. My grandma had also passed away in late January, so I was going through some grieving as well, and I still am. So my doctor raised the Prozac and put me on 100mg of Vistaril and it is doing good. I am able to fall asleep around midnight or 1 am. I was kind of freaking out at my doctors office telling her I don't want kids anymore. So she put me on Vistaril and I can't get pregnant on that. The doctor also said I couldn't attempt to get pregnant until May 1st.. So I know I'm not pregnant now.

I am very indecisive. So I really am stumped. I could go on Trazodone and go off of Vistaril to get pregnant. But I'm afraid of being on 2 psych meds while I'm pregnant. I do definitely plan to talk to my doctor about this.

I also have something more to add which makes my story worse about wanting to have kids. I was diagnosed with a hyperthyroid when I was 24. I was put on a medication and since then my doctor said I can not get pregnant on that medication. The other medication used to treat hyperthyroid causes liver failure and death, so my doctor refused to put me on that. So she said I had to have surgery to have my thyroid removed and to be put on thyroid hormone after that, which I can get pregnant on. So I had this surgery 5 months ago, and now I have a huge noticeable scar on my neck.

So I'm still deciding what to do about having a kid. I want to have a kid, but I didn't decide that until I was 30 years old. Before that age, I didn't want a kid. Just to have a kid alone aside from the mental illness and depression is a lot. So many things are being thrown in my face because I have this stupid mental illness and been dependent on meds since I was 14 years old.