It sounds like that is very difficult I was always worried about having a child for the same reasons. What I thought of doing if I did get pregnant is try to follow a mindfulness routine because even with out bpd pregnancy hormones can make you feel very upset and frustrated but try to Sit alone in a quite place and just relax at least once a day that may help ease some of your tension. Focus your energy on making your baby feel like they are in a safe enviornemnt If you ever need to vent feel free to message me please keep yourself safe

Do you have a therapist You can contact if you start feeling the need to self harm? I would def try to get one if you don't have one you deserve to not be in this alone! 🌻 if you feel out of control and have no one to talk to the suicide prevention line has some really caring people available to talk to 1-800-273-8255