Well, in answer to your first comment Gloamingone ... don't cheat. It's dishonorable and attacks your character. Trust me, I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from, but don't compromise your character because he won't step up and demonstrate character himself.

Right now it sounds like you're stuck until that disability hearing. I think it's time to start emotionally and mentally divorcing yourself from the situation. Once the hearing is done and you've got disability and means, then it's time to move on. Plan for the future when it will be better, you've been tough enough to get this far, only a few months and you'll be on your way to better times.