Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovable Nut
I too am a black sheep. I recently realized that a major component to my healing and sanity is to maintain a "no contact" rule. It has to be done. The difficult aspect is there are so many siblings and nieces and nephews. I have to give up the wish...it's never going to be; too much pathology with primitive behaviors. It is a serious loss for me because that's all I ever wanted. It was a fantasy. I cannot control my dreams and lately these creatures dominate them. My heart is broken and so begins the mourning. The silver lining is that I can "save myself". I'm not sinking with that ship. They are in denial, anger and blaming states. Very sad to see them repeat the patterns of the parents as it trickles down to their children. The thing I have trouble with is why their lack of "approval" effects me. The little kid in me wants to be accepted by them...she never was and never will be. I need to see that a a very good thing. I'm working on it.
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You sound so much like me. What a horrible loss and the approval thing is getting better. My solution is to not stick my toe in that pool...ever