Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeCharmer
I'm so happy your pdoc had her baby safely, a healthy beautiful boy!  That's really good news. It's so weird you were at the hospital when she came in to have her baby, after you've felt so much distress over the separation. Some people would say the Universe threw you together at this crucial time. Dr. Jung would call it synchronicity. I call it amazing.
This is blessed news and my hope is that over time you'll be able to forgive her for letting you down for the way the separation happened and when she's back to work the two of you will work this out.
Underneath all the distressing emotion, I know you're got to feel relieved and happy, too, because not too long ago you were feeling worried sick about her well-being.
Sometimes it's important to drop the logic and to go with the heart. I know you were looking for an explanation for her actions and wanted to know why why why, over-analyzing while the emotions were running wild. When a women is 6-7 months pregnant sometimes dropping the logic and giving them some slack is the most loving and forgiving thing we can do.
You have a great big loving heart in there Scarlet. Hope you can feel it in a big loving way.  It really will help, as confusing as it is right now. Maybe Dr. Jung was right about this weird synchronicity thing ... maybe. |
You're right. It's a huge relief to know that she and the baby are okay. Well, I know the baby's okay. I assume she is too. I know he arrived 1 day after his due date and was 9lbs! He looked very cute and healthy (of course I'm not supposed to know any of this
).
I guess you're right too. It was probably meant to be. How odd that I have something as weird a pill dissolving in the wrong location and needing to see a doctor at the same time my Pdoc is in labor?
It's like a few months ago, I ran into my ex-counselor who I hadn't seen in 9 years. The timing was perfect. My fiance wanted to sleep in for another hour, but I forced him to get up and take me to the lab. My counselor had been holding o to her lab order for months and decided to just get it over with that day. We could have easily missed each other as the lab for both of us was a simple blood draw. And now, I will hopefully be able to meet up with her again at the end of the month (at least that's the plan).
I have no ill will towards my Pdoc. I don't hate her. I'm not angry with her. But I am still hurt.
And it hurts more because my T, group facilitator, and primary have become less available/not available.
But I guess seeing her, and all the feelings that came up, prove that I still care about her very much and she's still important to me. I haven't erased her from my life and might actually be able to reconnect with her when she comes back. I do actually hope so. Though I might change my mind, as of right now I'm pretty set on leaving county when I'm done with DBT. It just isn't what it's supposed to be.
I do miss my Pdoc.