It's difficult to be in a position where you aren't functioning and you can't rely on a consistent response from people around you. That's reality though, a lot of people think they're caring, but you know, they don't know what that actually means. They've never had to be in a position to do something all that important for anyone else and they aren't always very good at identifying a crisis when they see one. I've had to bark at people for just standing around when major **** has just gone down because most people simply don't know what to do and I'm not alone in that experience.

I do think that it was stepping over a boundary asking someone at the hospital to sit down because them standing made you uncomfortable. I actually am a very caring person and I would have balked at that request too coming from a person I didn't know. That was a stranger and they aren't required to be nice or to understand anything. You making that statement could have even been a trigger for some unpleasant feelings for them. I know that wasn't your intention, but it is important to think about these things after the fact so that you can develop a plan for when you are in crisis mode.

Not all hospitals have a psyc ward and even the ones that do aren't necessarily well-equipped. Now that you're a little bit calmer, you might want to see if there are facilities in your area that you can go to for treatment. It sounds like you were in a bad place, they were worried because you were acting in a way that could be threatening (you just don't know these days), so they made a decision.

I think the focus should be on making yourself more independent with your symptoms. You need to be able to function without leaning on someone else when you start to feel symptoms being triggered. It takes a while to get there, but once you have tools you can use to manage your symptoms, you will certainly start feeling much more capable and confident. I certainly hated it when I felt like I had very little control over my PTSD and that it just ran amok all of the time.

Like, the unwanted touching, I am like that too. What I do though is I look for the signs of outstretched arms and I decide how much I care about this person's feelings. If I care at all about them, I bite the bullet and hug them (but I am very unhappy about it!) If I don't know this person, I will absolutely push them away or slap their hand if they violate the bubble. I do try to give a verbal warning first though, "No, I'm not a hugger, thanks. Ha ha" (Laughter and smile to make it less harsh) and if they insist, "No, seriously, please don't hug me." It will absolutely hurt a hugger's feelings, but you have to balance that with how uncomfortable the uninvited hug makes you feel. You do not owe any explanations for that. Just bear in mind that you will hurt your chances of a relationship with them if you reject their hug (though it might not matter).

For other triggers, you know, you have to try to confront them as best as you can so that you can function in society. I still get triggered at times and it takes deep breathing and the action plan I've been working on (sometimes with a therapist) to get through an episode. For social support, a wide net isn't necessarily the best thing in the world, but a few key people works great. My husband and my mother are my key support system and they keep me grounded and focused on recovery.

I have also found that, if you're comfortable, being very clear with what you need other people to do is best. Like I said before, most people don't know what to do in a crisis, so you have to spell it out. "I am in a crisis. This is extremely serious. I need XYZ." But keep your request reasonable. People can't stay up all night or interrupt their lives all the time. Your key support system should be people who ARE willing to put in a little extra effort when it's needed. Anything beyond them, keep it to simple tasks like "I need words of encouragement because I'm feeling very self-conscious about XYZ". Just realize that if people don't respond immediately, it could just be crappy timing. You also need to make sure you're not tapping that well too frequently because it becomes emotionally draining for other people. If you feel like some people are a negative influence or are just not willing to be part of that recovery effort, then either leave them out of that stuff or don't talk to them.