I saw ex-t Wednesday at his office. I was there filling out paperwork because I want to see him again and work through every thing and heal my past. It's totally selfish and I want this so badly. I was in the middle of filling out paperwork in the very corner of the waiting room and he comes out, walks toward me, says "hey sister" and my heart, face and spirit lit up. Then he sits down next to me, doesn't even acknowledge me, and talks to the girl next to me. He never even said hi... which is fine, I mean at least I got to see him and feel his presence. Of course I cried after he left the waiting room without even acknowledging me. It is so painful to be attached to someone who does not want you or want anything to do with you. Who is probably repulsed by you...
But I set up an appointment with him for April. And I am on the waiting list if he has any cancellations. It feels so far away but he is worth the wait... and it's already been 2 and a half years since I've seen him. At least I saw him.