hi cmccal, welcome to Psych Central(PC). The other posts gave some good tips on helping your friend. I am also concerned with you and your well being.
In one way you seem to be concerned as if you are still together, but judging from his responses he has gone to a place where jobs, girlfriend and taking care of himself have fallen off the stove. I am sad for him but also concerned that over concern for him could lead to a difficult place.

Some people here at PC when a relationship goes on the rocks will get a therapist to help them with day to day stuff but also getting to the root of why someone might choose this type of situation and how to get back to a more fulfilling situation.

Hope you don't think me cold hearted. I am concerned for him but as they announce in the airlines. "If during the flight the oxygen masks come down from the overhead compartment, put yours on FIRST before putting on those of children or others with you."

Taking care of ourselves as caregivers is the first step in helping others in my experience. Avoiding burn out is always on my mind as a caregiver. Not out of selfishness but for really being there for others.