Eathersvirtue

Oh my, is this MY topic!! I almost think the time I've spent in therapy on my mother is longer than the time I spent on abuse. It's such a tangled, complex relationship one has with their mother.

I can honestly say that it took a good 6 or 7 years before I finally gave in to the fact that my mother was not going to be what I envisioned and that I had to take the good and ignore the rest.

My mom is coming for her annual visit a week from Friday and i"m already sick to my stomach and dreading the visit - and that is so wrong! I always get keyed up and then it's not AS bad as I imagine.

As far as her not protecting me when I was abused? I don't believe she knew about the sexual abuse by my grandfather. When I recalled the memories at age 23 and told my mom in a therapy session, she said "well, if he were alive today I would be on my white horse at his doorstep" - so what is that? I was more angry that my brother physically abused me for many years and my mom was well aware and didn't do anything.

It's tough stuff - I think it all comes down to acceptance that it is what it is and we can't change the past. I think we spend alot of time and it's hard to stop.

Tranquility