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You are heard and we get what you are saying. It is hard and when one within does something that is not known or that is not something another would do, someone is left holding the bag and trying to make everything okay again. Most times it is her.
So many times she just wants to disappear, hide, and even no longer be because somewhere she knows it is her but it is not, yet there is no one else there but her and somewhere she takes responsibility for things that take place, problems caused, and misunderstandings that come about.
Normal things that people do just are not normal and can scare us to death causing a chain of events unknown or even triggering a defense as some still are not in this present time, and do not know anything but what they were first created to do. Their job.
Normal for most is doing things without bad always resulting or happening, or if it does ways of working it out are possible. But normal for those in our world, the devastation was unending and always came no matter how compliant or good one may have tried to be or even was.
The rules changed without notice and then changed again or even back and you didn't know, and the consequences always came, there was never a way out. Somehow we were supposed to know what one could not possibly know.
The sad thing is, the cost is to the whole even though most within do not and cannot comprehend this, they are just doing their job or doing what they know or were brainwashed to do. But to the one that knows nothing who comes back, tries to fix or correct it all, does not even know what happened, just knows there is something wrong, something happened.
What may be normal to us is not normal to most of the world.
But we are always afraid, always on guard, always ready to protect, hide, and push away. Sad thing, most within only know those things. They do not know anything else, some within are too afraid even of themselves and/or life, are only trying to still survive. They do not even know time has moved. They are hidden and unknown to others. Sometimes are even unreachable within.
They do not have time, do not even know what it is. They only know to survive and quickly do what they know to do; and the one taken over is left not knowing, picking up the pieces, and yes, afraid. Thing is there was no time to think, for some they do not even know how to think just do.
What is normal to most, our normal does not fit the normal of what most the world knows or does. But our normal comes anyways, and the devastation is like a tornado or hurricane that destroys anything in its path, and sometimes is what we are left with. But we cannot blame the world around us now.
For our normal even changed within our normal always leaving us with not even a normal way of reacting or knowing how to. It left us always fighting to find a way to go on. Always fighting to even sometimes breath.
How could anyone understand our normal? It is not an excuse, it is our reason.
Understand? We can no longer ask or hope that someone could.
Echoes
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