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Not good today. I still haven't taken care of the tasks that I've been putting off for weeks now. I know I'm walking a fine line and its as though I'm wanting my world to come crashing down around me...like I only seem to know how to function as a human being if I'm in the midst of chaos, and self-inflicted chaos at that. So frustrated with myself right now and yet terrified and filled with anxiety at the same time.
I did have my 1st counseling app't this past week. I've also reached out to a good friend and essentially had a break-down in front of her; bless her heart, she was very supportive. I did feel some relief in expressing to someone else how lost I'm feeling right now. I wish I could open up more, but it was a start.
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Marianne Williamson
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