I completely understand your situation. I have just been "going through the motions" for years. Yes, it started way before I was dx bipolar. Treatment has done little, and now I'm less functioning than I previously was. I seriously have very little left to get me hanging in. If you knew my miserable life you would understand. Heck, you're still functioning by working which is a "huge" positive. So hold your head high for that. Something great may be hiding just around the corner for you.