Dear (((((Mary Alice}}}}}: I just wrote to you on another post, but wanted to touch base with you here as well. I am really saddened to read how terribly much pain you are in, both physically and mentally/emotionally, but I truly admire the courage you show in trying to hang on for your children. My Mom killed herself, and it is the most horrific and traumatizing thing that one could imagine happening; I still have not recovered 7 years later. Probably there is relief in having made a decision, but since it's in the option pool, why not decide to keep going day by day; I know you feel that you're losing value to your kids, but there is just no way to tell you what a lasting and devastating legacy suicide leaves on your kids; that act will literally define who they believe themselves to be their whole lives. Chronic pain is something that I can't even imagine; at least not physical pain that is prolonged, but the mental/emotional suffering and devastation from having your Mom kill herself, for whatever reason, just can't be overstated. I hope you will keep talking to us, and, for sure, keep seeking medical help for the depression. I admire you for your strength, and want to help you to continue. Best regards. PS. Some other resourses to check out are: www.suicidehotlines.com/ and suicidecrisiscenter.com/whylive.html. Also, toll free, 1-800-SUICIDE [1-800-784-2422].

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT :-)</font color=blue>