Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovable Nut
I too am a black sheep. I recently realized that a major component to my healing and sanity is to maintain a "no contact" rule. It has to be done. The difficult aspect is there are so many siblings and nieces and nephews. I have to give up the wish...it's never going to be; too much pathology with primitive behaviors. It is a serious loss for me because that's all I ever wanted. It was a fantasy. I cannot control my dreams and lately these creatures dominate them. My heart is broken and so begins the mourning. The silver lining is that I can "save myself". I'm not sinking with that ship. They are in denial, anger and blaming states. Very sad to see them repeat the patterns of the parents as it trickles down to their children. The thing I have trouble with is why their lack of "approval" effects me. The little kid in me wants to be accepted by them...she never was and never will be. I need to see that a a very good thing. I'm working on it.
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Hi lovable nut
My story is similar to yours except I guess I've gone for low contact. It is sad also with my family that they are not interested in psychology or personal growth. My mother is the problem but everybody thinks she is wonderful even without fault! So everybody largely ignores me as I think they see me as the problem, nothing to do with the family. But I want to be part of a family since I feel very isolated. I too crave to be approved of but I know that won't happen.
PH