Quote:
Originally Posted by prefabsprout
My observation from what you've written is that this is bringing the fear of rejection to the fore with you and that is what is uncomfortable rather than the crush itself.
Could you try separating the feelings, and just enjoy the crush for what it is (a nice feeling for an intriguing person)? I think we all get crushes sometimes, even if nothing comes of it, it's part of being alive.
You sound like an interesting thoughtful person, even if it turns out he isn't into you in that way (not that I'm saying he isn't) there will be plenty guys who would be.
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You are mostly right; I'm more upset that I let my guard down and allowed myself to hope that someone attractive and interesting would be interested in me when, statistically, they never are. (That's not negativity, it's just fact. And I do actually put myself out there more often than you'd think.) I know, given my past history with completely falling apart and nearly ruining my life when a relationship fell apart or sliding into a deep hole when I feel rejected by a guy, that it's really just better for me not to get involved. As I said above, statistically they are not interested back. I'm kind of too old to be interested in someone just for fun; I mean, come on...all of my friends got married and had multiple children. Some have been divorced and remarried. When is it my turn...to just freaking have a nice, smart, attractive guy who wants to take me out more than twice before he gets tired of me?
Normally, I think I'm interesting, thoughtful, cool, smart, reasonably attractive (I'm not ugly, at least)...but the fact that, literally, zero men pay attention to me for real, that I've not had a real relationship in 6 years, or even a date in 2 years even though I've put myself out there definitely cuts my self esteem down. A
lot.
And no, I'm not this big a worry wart on a date. Or even out loud...to anyone other than my closest friends.