Exercise has no impact on my mood, generally I end up more depressed and tired than when I started. When I was first diagnosed for about 8 months straight my mum dragged me to the gym every day, we worked out, did classes and took the dog for 10km regularly without fail. And everytime I crashed into a hole after, until the next day when I was dragged out to exercise again. We started small and continued as the fitness continued so it wasnt a fact of doing too much at once.

For a few years I was a track work rider for racehorses. That was a very physically demanding job and although I was around 70kg I was extremely fit. I did love that job but it was the horses that made me happy, not the fitness aspect of it. I was riding up to 8 horses in full race work a day (4am start) and then handling, hosing, rugging, poo pickup, yealing prep then back home to work my own horses and care for them too.

I still consider myself a competitive horse rider but my horse had a break over summer as my mood was too low. My partner is going to start bringing her into light work for me so when I get out of ip I can get back to competing.

When not riding I still do AT LEAST 30 minutes 3-4 times a week if its a bad week, and at least 30 minutes a day on a good week (one day off if possible, we all need a lazy day!). Walking around campus and my physical job clocks my steps in at about 18,000 a day so I consider that exercise. (OCD side note, there are exactly 172 stairs from the bus stop to my first class haha).

I asked my doc why I dont get the happy benefits, she said not everyone gets the same reaction to the endorphin release and if the distress is too high then the endorphins can have zero effect. I suspect that is why even at my fittest I never experienced happiness after exercise.

This is in no way a post to deter people, exercise has benefits for everybody but unfortunately I am not one that gets the happiness from it after. Im hoping once my adrenal tests come back I might be able to balance my hormones out a bit better and figure out a way to enjoy the benefits of exercise.