Quote:
Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets
Why try at all? Sometimes it feels it is no use. I often wonder if anyone had to walk a mile in my shoes, live through what I lived through and struggle with daily would they?
The words you didn't do this to yourself or cause what happened seem often contradictory. Maybe those words are true, but the only one trying so hard to fix this broken self is me. For I am the only one that can but how does one do that when life was broken from the start? The only one responsible for those within's actions is me, even though I don't know what often takes place, somewhere it is all me, known or not.
And I wonder if I am worthy of fixing, because I am too broken and too much for anyone to keep walking, caring, or even trying. And I am really sorry for that, because I don't mean to be or try to be. I am just broken, missing too many pieces; pieces that never seemed to even exist but pieces that should have been important.
I didn't ask to get broked......and I'm sorry.......... 
With all I have, I am really sorry........ |
I see my state of DID as strength. That I wanted to survive and was unwilling to break. You didn't break. Making parts was you surviving, was you saying NO. Now that you are older the system/parts you created to save you, need to be freed from the present and allowed to return to the past. The memories they have need to return to the time they are from and not cause distress in the present. So like all of us with DID we have to slowly undo the barriers we created to survive. The barriers to emotional pain, physical pain and the pain of memories. I have discussed this with my parts. At this point in time we are all moving in the same direction. It wasn't always that way. What has helped us to work together is the original reason for our creation, survival. We still want to survive. And we want to live out our life in the present. We want to all feel our life, and if that means that we have to struggle to get there, we are fine with that. You are all strong, and you are all smart, and you will make the journey back to the present. You are a survivor.