I'd like to thank everyone for their thoughtful input (well most everyone). Its tough to paint a complete picture of what's going on here and what's been going on for years so within the context that I've provided, I think many of the people have provided some really useful information and tips and like I've said, I've already been able to put some into practice.
I also disagree with some of what I've seen here but will still consider why I disagree with it. Is it because I don't want to hear it or the I believe you don't have the complete picture or that I feel that it based on societal biases. I think all of this is in the mix.