Feeling pretty sluggish which is not unusual for me when daylight savings time hits. It seems to take several days or so for my body to adjust. But I do look forward to more LIGHT and longer days!

This weekend was a bit of a roller coaster ride for me emotionally. I am starting to get some help (started therapy last week, opened up about my breakdown to my best friend) and in my heart, I know this is the start to my way out of this cycle of depression/anxiety. Had a pretty good cry last night and woke up still feeling off, but I just had a conversation with my boss and now I have a plan in place to get back on track with my freelance assignments this week for work. I do feel hopeful albeit scared too. I'm also seeking other work and have been applying for various jobs outside the home; its important for me to get back to some type of routine with work (plus, I need benefits/health insurance) and I need more structure in my life and to be around people during the day.

Ideally, I will be able to find something to do alongside of my freelance job. I have an interview for a teacher's aide position at a preschool on Tuesday. I think it could be a good fit for me and lord knows I need to be around some positive energy! But I also know if this job doesn't work out, its because something better is waiting for me.

So in spite of myself lately, I am feeling a little stronger. I have a long road ahead of me, but I feel hopeful and am really trying to push myself along. I think in order for me to truly overcome my issues I have to commit to the process in a way I've never done in the past. I firmly believe the reason I got into this cycle of depression and anxiety is related to the fact I've not effectively dealt with lifelong negative self beliefs. I make some progress from time to time, but I never have done the really hard work necessary to value myself, and learn to better deal with the setbacks that inevitably come along.