I was in a partial hospitalization program that really helped me after a bad bout of depression. What I found most helpful was that my peers gave me some candid feedback about how I was coming across that was not very flattering feedback. They were helpful because I came to see that they were on my side and wanted me to get well. I came to see that they could object to something I said and it didn't mean they were totally rejecting me. That was a huge thing for me to learn. I will always be grateful for the emotional support they lent me.

At that program there was a sign on the wall that said the following: "What other people think of you is none of your business." I had to reflect on that for a time to understand it. Now I think it is one of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten.

I can't worry about what other people think. Of course, I want to be liked, and I just love it went I get feedback from others that is complementary. But I tell myself that what they think is their own business. If they express an opinion out loud of me or my behavior, then I have a right to evaluate the validity of what they express. If I think they've said something unfair, I have a right to express that too. If it seems they've uttered an opinion based on a misperception of me or my intentions, I can choose to try and influence them to change their misperception. Sometimes I do, sometimes I really don't care and they can think whatever they like.

When I sit around thinking, "Okay, let me see, if I can figure out in my head what is going on in their head." I am probably making a poor use of my time. Oh, I still do it, like we all do at times, but I try to tell myself that I could be using my brain in a more productive way.