i haven't read the whole thread (i suck at that btw)... and i don't have kids even... BUT i will tell you that my H sent a 15 page letter to my pdoc once without my knowledge. i was devastated. My pdoc asked if i knew and if i wanted him to even read it and i said no so he tossed it. But it shook me up. It made me afraid for my relationship with my pdoc and it really affected my relationship with my H. The relationship of your daughter with the T is one thing, but talking to her T without talking to her might hurt your relationship with your daughter. Just thoughts... maybe somebody already said. dunno. i am dumb that way