Ok, so the fact that your wife makes everything about her and makes you feel bad for expressing your feelings instead of being supportive seems like a red flag to me that she's a manipulative narcissistic and/or psychopath and that you need to stay away from her negative input- you deserve to be with someone who loves you unconditionally and with whom you feel comfortable to be yourself instead of feeling like you're walking on eggshells. I've been there. good luck.