A question for those who suffer psychosis episodes :- Do you think it possible to give in to a voice commanding you to do something eg repeatedly telling you to do something eg to react to harm being caused to you by another person.

I was subjected to anonymous malicious emails which caused me some interpersonal issues with colleagues who I suspected of being involved. Ultimately i became so paranoid that i resigned.

Had it not been for psychotic episodes i would have reacted differently, i am convinced of that.

I had sympathy from my fellow business partners before i resigned but they could not really understand that it was as though the illness was controlling me. I heard a voice repeatedly telling me how i should react even though i didnt want to i felt coerced. I would send emails trying to explain what my illness was like, but they wouldnt listen.

The voices commanded me to create an email address (just as my tormentor had done) and send an email to my former senior partner pretending to be a psychiatrist who had been asked to explain psychosis, depression etc to him and the effect that it had on my reactions / behaviour.

He accepted all that was being told to him :- references of explanatory websites were sent to him.

I wanted to stop sending emails because it was wrong of me to do so under the pretence of it being someone medical who was informing him of the facts about the illness - it was fraudulent of me but the voice kept telling me to do it. I would wake every night and the voice would keep commanding me until i sent an email.

In hindsight i cannot understand why i kept giving in to the voice and to do something that was totally out of character ; dishonest, deception.

Has anyone else felt coerced to do what voices command and then do things against ones own wishes or totally out of character ?

Was what i did because of the illness ie the voices commanding me until i carried out what was required of me ?



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