I to am a "newbie", Lawrence.

What happened to you, me, and everyone else in this chat, wrong on so many levels. I'm 45 years old and after almost 32 years of alcohol & drug abuse (heroin) I finally began to deal with what happened and cleaned up, about 2-1/2 years ago. Even though it was the best thing that ever happened to me and I cherished my sobriety, I had a very painful suppressed memory of abuse come back a month ago after writing out my life on paper. I slipped right back in to all my bad habits.

You stay strong for everyone L, you have two beautiful children and they are gods GIFT !! Gods gift to be loved and respected, not abused. You can look in the mirror and say "I broke the cycle of abuse !" you should be very proud of yourself !!

You are a courageous man sir ! I have so much admiration for people who actually were able to get through the memories of what happened to them. What happened to us as children is sickening, you have two beautiful gifts from God, you make sure you love them with all of your heart and protect them from sick people like that. You are a very strong man, you made it ! !