So, I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for a very long time. The bad far outweighs the good at this point. He has no respect for my mental illness and even implies that I'm exaggerating my symptoms when he's the one triggering a lot of paranoia, anger, and panic attacks.

I've tried confronting him, standing up for myself, breaking up, etc. but no matter how cruel he's been, suddenly I'm the a-hole when I stand up to him.

This time I'm just trying avoidance. I'm ignoring his repeated calls. It's scary, but I just can't deal with another confrontational. It feels like a no one.

I'm even paranoid he's going to read this. This is just consuming all of my brain and I need some relief. Maybe just time will tell... I dunno. I've tried everything. I feel better for a few days after therapy, then after a few days I get obsessed and scared again. Help!