sorry that you're feeling this way. been through all of this stuff too. that's why I don't trust meds. from one side you can be mad at your doc but on other nobody knows how you will react to meds, for one person it may help, for other not.. some meds works after 2 weeks, other after 2 months or more and got tons of side effects.. I myself tried ssri which according to my doc shall start to work after half a year.. but I gave up after month, side effects similar to yours were too hard to handle.. have you got a therapist? if not I think you should get one, meds won't repair mind imo. some can calm you down, but in my opinion it's like putting a blanket on scary monster. this monster will still exist anyway.